Wednesday, July 14, 2004

snap crackle pop....sssssss

pretty much the haalat of the brain currently. can take too much. feel like hanging a "handle with care" sign around my neck- because it seems like anything...just about anything could be the proverbial straw. one day im as solid as a rock and then suddenly im as fragile as glass. one day im a creative genius and then next day im as dry as thr sahara desert. as much as being an extremist is part of the arien perosnality, i would like nothing better than to float the mere mediums right now. to not feel the extremes that im used to joyriding on. id love to, for a short while, be a passive numb neither here nor there kind of an existence, then the galloping highs and the burdening lows of life have evened out out somewhat to a more trotting pace- i feel liek just tossing on the seas for a bit, ending up whereever the winds take me, for where i was, i no longer care to be and where im heading i no longer have the burning desire to know. for a while, ill happily bob along the ocean of oblivion. not knowing. not caring. not needing to. happy in the indecision. content in the abandoning of all powers, both negative and positive and at peace inside with the knowledge that i did my best.

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