she's butterflyin'
five years as a professional creative thinking human being and one can feel a little frayed around the edges. we get so involved. every time we take on a project, not only is it yet another attempt to outdo ourselves, it's also another benchmark for personal growth. we tend to give our beings in it, letting it in and absorbing it to a degree that for those few weeks, we are saturated in that design, needing for it to make perfect harmonious sense. because in that it changes our lives, even if imperceptibly.
our constant need to battle for good design comes from deep within and given that all factors are in tune, it truly does become a labour of love.
and so at the end, we are tired. exhausted. a delicious kind of high seeps up in that exhaustion, as thousands of tiny butterflies rise from the pit of your stomach, flying in this wondrous formation...paying homage to the fact that we are lucky enough to love what we do with such unfettered feeling.
life plots and plans
My Cat Ate the Billboards.
I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Indeed, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all. -- Ogden Nash, Song of the Open Road, 1945
normal day driving back from work. on the emirates plane roundabout near parktowers, all billboards have tolet signs. funny. all of them together? the designer in me registered it but the human being in me, tired after a long day, fleetingly glanced up and went home to a relaxing cup of tea.
k calls. "all the billboards are gone".
haan i noticed i exclaim, now resuscitated to my usual alive self. wonder what is happening? "it looks so amazing" he says. well, i answer, tomorrow there will be new ones. silence. "sweetie. they dont exist. as in the structures are gone."
by now im jumping up and down hollering "what what??? what??"
houston, we finally have a skyline and man, she looks good.
Back into the Groove
its amazing how an exercise routine can help put everything in perspective. life, love, and career. that one hour forty five minutes belongs solely, purely and exclusively to me- to shut my brain off and push myself to the physical limit.
theres something deeply gratifying about being able to take any extra energy out into the world by actually strenuously releasing it from you. thats one bit of extra energy that would have gone into thinking thoughts i just dont need right now and in restlessness i simply cant afford right now.
after almost 2 months of "procrastinational no-exercise", i finally dragged myself to aerobics yesterday. and with an aching body and a revived mind, came back a believer yet again.
whats in a weekend?
lahore this weekend was stimulating. amna drove down from isloo and i flew up from khi. and we met in the middling city of lahore. not quite isloo but not quite karachi. perfect setting for
a good cause and a great short quick break from the mad hectic thing known as life.
why do i love time outs in other cities?
- great fresh looking skin and happy smiles in all pics.
- time crawls like thick syrup. and you can truly savour the flavour.
- you run into people you never thought possible. this-is-your-life kinda moments.
- anything is possible. the anticipation is heady.
- you can pig out and splurge and feel absolutely justified doing so.
Wagah-ing in Heels- survival story from a fashion victim
in true aunty style, i went to the see the guards act at the wagah border in my multicolour strappy heels today.
im a practical person. despite the fact that i love dressing up, i cant help but veer towards functional. i can gravtitate towards frivolous but somehow, somewhere, the functional is an undrelying threat. always. so this weekend, as i flew down to attend the TCF BahaarPolo weekend in lahore with amna, i decided to leave my pragmatic self in karachi and give into the overstyled temptation that is lahore.
lunch was royal palm country club affair. so, my inner voice said, heels are the order for the day. but, said my head said, what about later? ignoring that voice and giving into the social pressure that can only exist in the mind of a late twenty-something aspiring to one day evolve into an aunty, i proudly trotted out in my heels. i could almost feel the high course through me.
after a sedate enough lunch stylishly walking around, small talking and chitchatting, suddenly adventure followed, as everyone piled into coasters and went to the wagah border.
sitting next to amna in the bus as everyone laughed and chattered, all aunty-pana flew out the window, and we were on any school trip we might have attended together in many years of school and college. a patriotic 2 hours and a close view at india later, still in my now uncomfortable strappy heels, i walked back to the bus thinking how amazing how it was only the heels that reminded me of where i am in life right now. otherwise, it was the mad olden days again.
Grab them windows.
somehow the universe always understands when you are ready for some time out. work suddenly becomes more hectic, deadlines crazier and the pace quickens, building up to a crescendo...
and suddenly it's right there in your face. a small window of opportunity.
an out of the blue chance to get away and recharge the creative battery.
this window can be a few much needed hours without the cell phone in your cozy place watching a movie with tea or it can be a bigger window...a chance to actually change your environment. walk away from what constitutes the daily grind into a brand new, fresh outlook. and come back shiny. or somewhat shiny. even somewhat shiny works.
for the next 5 blissful days, amna and i will be in lahore. we will do nothing but be social, be lazy, be shoppy and most importantly just be. a reward for the past few months of incessant working hard and playing hard. its amazing how if you are true enough to what you do, the windows start popping up around you and you can always climb out for a breath of fresh air, to be able to come back to give life your best shot...again.
today.
i choose to be more than i used to be. ever before.
im sick.
when i really need to work, as in really really need to, i push myself to the very edge of the deadline and then start working. i think its a disease.
Put That Book Down.
it has been over 3 months since i last read a book cover to cover. one of the longest dry spells in recent years. every time i pick up a book and settle down with my mug of tea on my white leather chair to lose myself in the world of words...life happens.
and i have to put my book down. reading a book in breaks is a different pleasure but i miss the high of turning pages without being able to hold back. i long for the arising feeling of excitement as your eyes skim over the words almost faster than your brain can interpret them. so i request life to slow down a teensy bit. just for a while. so i can get my cant-put-it-down fix...and then we can go right on with the fast forward mode. thanks so very much- i appreciate it.
